Resistance
This morning I practiced janu sirsasana. This pose became an analogy for the art of surrender unto God. Upon entering a pose, we have a tendency to resist in certain spots of the body. In this particular one, I engaged my hips and lower back, which prevented full fold over my right leg. Guided by my breath (my anchor), I began to relax into the fold and experienced that full release, the surrender. I felt my chest and face graze my leg as my exhale and gravity carried me down. I interlaced my fingers around my foot and pressed my heart toward my toes. It was beautiful and peaceful. I felt deeply loved.
And so it is with the surrender unto God. We resist initially because he is the mystery, the unknown, the unfathomable. But there are some things that I do know – that he is steadfast in his love for me and wants to encapsulate me in that love.
After some time, the body begins to resist the pose again. There are a number of reasons for this. The exertion could be tiring or the position uncomfortable. More often it could be a slack in concentration. We grow accustomed to that ecstasy we experience in theasana and then begin to shift out of it inherently.
Despite my desire to bask in the glory of God, I become distracted in my heart and my focus. My attention diverts to something else and I drift out of the sacred space we cultivated together. But then I remember. I realize that something has changed. I am conscious of the absence of that deep seated love.
When we regain our drishti both with our eyes and our minds, we sink back into physical release. Concentration returns to the full manifestation of the posture and we enter back into its benefit, this time with greater intention and maybe even more deeply. Somehow, it is even better than before. There is less resistance after shaking off the initial resistance. There is simply being. Instead of a glimpse of ecstasy, we bathe in it and saturate.
Remembering the Lord, I bring myself back to his feet. I enter into surrender with more trust and experience. My diversion actually provides evidence for the goodness of being one with God. My lack of concentration actually reminds me that nothing is greater than tying my heart to his, being completely his. I release all tension and engagement. I sink into his presence. Instead of momentary vision and light, I bend beneath the weight of his glory and soak in the substance of his love.

